a change

hello readers! if you are interested in continuing to read my personal blog about second life, please visit my new domain http://nimil-blackflag.net/.


berry’s dirty pervert meme

berry is a horrible sl pervert and so she decided to celebrate a year of memes by asking us all dirty questions…


since i am a dirty pervert too, i am playing along…

Sexual Questions: (for RL and/or SL)

What is your sexual orientation or do you not like to label yourself? – i am hetero-flexable. i am mostly attracted to men but i have my pan-sexual moments and have been attracted to ladies, and transgender people as well.

Name a physical attribute that you find attractive or sexy. – oh god i am a sucker for long hair on a guy… the longer the better…

Are you promiscuous, a prude or in between? – i’m honestly a bit of a prude! i prefer to keep sex between two people in a monogamous consensual long term relationship. i do not have one night stands nor do i have sex with people that i’ve only dated for a small amount of time.  in the past on sl i’ve been a bit lax with that in order to please my now ex, but i’m really just not into sharing or giving myself up so easily.

What turns you on? – the list is a mile long…and most of it is not something you’d want to read about lol

Are you dominant or submissive? – i’m a switch! but more submissive than dominant.

Are you into sexual roleplay? – i love it.. i love it in real life, i loved it in sl.dirty-meme-3

Which sexual position is your favorite? – face down, ass up, that’s the way i like to fuck.

Do you have any fetishes? – lots of them… that i won’t list here..

Have you or would you do porn, amateur or professional? – if i was better looking in real life, i would totally be up to taking nekkid pictures of myself but not full on hardcore sex. in sl, there’s always room for possibility…

Do you consider yourself sexy? – in real life nope.. even though my husband says i am, i just don’t see it. i see an awkward gawky dork. in sl hell yes i am…



so there you go berry i hope you’re happy with my TMI!

what gave me hope?

berry’s monday meme this week is a somber one. i’d like to first sit here and take a moment to give her my thoughts and love because she is going through a rough time at the moment ❤

for me the lowest point of my life was somewhere around may. my mother died, my father had died a couple of years before, and i was living with my mom in the trailer i grew up in. i had taken care of both of my parents during their final years and now i was alone. the man that i was completely infatuated with, was many states away, and refused to see me in real life. it was my breaking point, the straw that broke the camel’s back.

people who have been burned by trolls online and on plurk see it as a nesting ground for assholes, but for me, plurk saved my life. when i was at my lowest, and felt like i could take no more. these people who only know me as an avatar and a screen name gathered together, they raised money for my mother’s funeral, they lifted me up out of the darkness, they held my hand as i did what needed to be done.

i am in tears even now because i am still in awe that anyone would bother to do anything like that for me. i have not had a great life and i have never had great self esteem so i have a hard time feeling “worthy” for anything. the fact that these people who are basically strangers to me and my real life, cared enough to do this for me, and to continue to care and hold my hand through scary situations, has helped give me hope for myself, and for the state of the world.

too many bad apples can make one bitter to the fruit. i am pleased to say that i have found some of the sweetest of the bunch.

i wanted to edit and add this song in for berry and for anyone ❤

winter princesses

winter princesses

i don’t know how to be a mom.

that’s what i said to caesey in 2008 when she joined my family. this adorable little girl floated into our store wearing love kills, and we fell in love. we kidnapped her, and we kept her for our own. i was scared to death. even though this is a virtual world, sl kids come with responsibility, and my previous sl kid had been a crazy stalker, so i was wary. i had no idea this person could steal my heart like she did.

we had bad times, her and i. things didn’t work out the first time around. i am working towards fixing as much as i can, but of course with my real life mom responsibilities, i don’t get to see her much at all.

winter camp happened and as it happens every time camp comes around, caesey joined in. this was my first year that i was able to attend parents night. it was a lovely event, a bit laggy, but a lot of fun. i stood around feeling awkward, because her other family was there (i’m a “forever mommy” now.. not her current actual mom). but she got me to sit on poseballs and take photos with her, and after a few crashes i finally snapped a good one. then she showed me her bunk, and we had our sad little goodbye moment.

i am lucky to have met this little spot of sunshine, and i gush about her constantly, i hope she always knows just how much her friendship, and her light, means to me.

halloween meme

i should probably write in this blog more than once or twice a year right?

strawberry has been doing a lot of awesome memes and i am just too lazy to do them all, but i figured i’d blog the halloween meme, as its my favourite holiday.

lets go to a party

Meme Instructions: Share a picture of your Halloween Costume in Second Life and/or answer the following questions about Halloween. Don’t forget to share a link to your post in the comments and if you share a picture, feel free to add it to the Blog Memes Flickr Group.

my costume changes every day but this is what i wore to a halloween party last night.

  1. Did you go trick or treating as a child? yes! i trick or treated until i passed the legal limit for my area (which was 15). 
  2. What was the best Halloween costume you ever saw or wore yourself? my now husband once wore a costume to a contest where he was a zombie, in a fancy suit covered in dust, when they called his name to be judged, he had placed a hand full of rubber worms in his mouth, and pretended to barf them all over the judges table.
  3. What is your most vivid memory about Halloween? i wanted to be a vampire for halloween but it was really wet and rainy that year. my cape was a trash bag and i had to wear my punky brewster boots because of the wet. the cotton candy pink and blue of the boots really ruined the vampire costume, and i was upset about it most of the night.
  4. What is the scariest movie you have ever seen? i am a huge horror movie nut, so traditional horror movies do not phase me. for me, the scariest movies ever are the matrix movies because i hate robots and that is pretty much my worst nightmare in movie format.
  5. Do you ever get nightmares after watching a scary movie? when i was a child yes, but not really anymore.
  6. Are you superstitious? If so, name at least one superstition of yours. no.
  7. What will you be doing for Halloween this year, if anything, in SL and RL? taking my son trick or treating for the first time ever!

Berry’s Procrastination Meme

i am inspired once more by berry to do a meme because i have nothing else to blog and it makes me happy to fill this blog up with something for once.


  1. What is the rez date for your current SL Avatar that you use most often? june 11th 2006.
  2. Where was the first place you made friends as a newb and got to know people in Second Life? the angry ant! a club owned by sarah nerd back in 2006. it was an awesome place for new avvies and i made a lot of friends there.
  3. Where do you spend most of your SL time now? my skybox, my best friend’s house, random sex sims, goth clubs. 
  4. Who is your closest friend in Second Life? (only pick one). my sister, but i won’t name which because i have several and all 4 of them are equally close! so hah!
  5. What is the most favorite thing in your inventory? (only pick one) my photo album folder
  6. The last thing you purchased in Second Life? the pink fuel skin i’m wearing in this photo.
  7. What color clothing does your avatar wear most often? black
  8. Do you prefer to walk, run or fly? i like to walk.
  9. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done in SL? when i was part of grendel’s children, we were next to a large vampire rp sim on mainland. flea made a rat avatar and we all wore them and invaded the rp sim’s sewer system, jumping up though their manholes and flooding their streets with rats.
  10. Who would you like to play YOU, in the movie of your SLife? it would have to be a cartoon movie. no actress in the world compares to nimil blackflag.

7 SL facts!


oh i love memes and chances to talk about myself.. haha yes i am vain… that is why this website is dedicated to me! i’m stealing this from berry who stole the idea from tymmerie

fact 1: i have lived with the same crew of people since my early days in SL. when i started dating lucas, he introduced me to his sl sisters, one of his sisters left and sold the island to another sister. the isle of shadows was born and was a sim for bdsm. i lived there with lucas, with our store on the bay of shadows next door. later the isle of shadows was rented out because aiko needed money and we all moved to the bay of shadows, which is where i live now, in a skybox on top of my store.

fact 2: i hate to stand around with people. i always sit on a chair or the floor. standing around in sl makes my feet hurt in rl, especially when we are all wearing impossible high heels!

fact 3: for the first year of my time in SL i NEVER got naked. i was so very modest! i never had sl sex until i started dating lucas and i never let anyone see me without clothes on… i didn’t even like changing with others around!

fact 4: i love to people watch. i am a creepy lurker in clubs and places with lots of people. i love to go to rp sims and just sit and listen to people rp. i love to go to crowded info hubs and just watch people.

fact 5: i dress my avatar based on my mood

fact 6: i used to work for a very popular radio station in SL called phreak radio. one time i was even broadcast live over a stream playing at SXSW. i still have screenshots of lindens telling me my show was great. later i found out that their alts owned the radio station!

fact 7: for a long time second life was my only life, and while i’m not there as much as i used to be, i still love it all these years later, despite all the crappy stuff that happened, the drama with lucas, and the loss of some important people. thanks to second life i am a better person, i have learned much, and i have gained strength to be better in real life.

Create a Character Challenge : 5880

continuing on with my mini-series on my favourite brain characters. i bring you the character that manifests its self the most in second life. 5880

5880 is a lab rat. plain and simple. in the far future, the pharmaceutical companies decided they needed to find a way to do more thorough testing on drugs and other cures for diseases. together with the CDC they began work on breeds of animals infused with human DNA. while ethically questionable, the hybrid humans proved to give better results to drug trials, making drugs safer for human consumption, lower side effect rates, and even the findings of cures for certain diseases that had plagued man-kind for centuries.

the general public however, had no idea these sub-humans existed.


when a group of activists stumbled upon a secret governmental lab, they were shocked to find these poor, sickly animal-humans. most of them dying of some disease or another. they had not been prepared for this. they had come to free the lab animals, but they were not expecting to find these poor twisted science experiments.


5880 was in a special containment unit in a room behind a fancy vaulted door. she and five other human-rats seemed to be in some sort of stasis, their specific room, far from the rest of the testing facilities. the activists were freeing the sickly hybrids, and then broke the containment tubes holding these people. 5880 was the only one to survive the ordeal. the activists had no clue what to do with her, so they just let her loose in the city sewers

this special wing of the lab was for military testing. these specific creatures were being created for war. but 5880 was very immature. mentally she is like a child. curious and young in her thoughts. she has no idea what anything is. she has no idea that she is carrying a deadly toxin within her blood that could wipe out an entire state.


5880 takes stabilization drugs to keep her from feeling sick. she is not sure what is making her sick, nor are the doctors who treat her, but she arrived with several vials of medication so the doctors just synthesize more for her. since she was a secret experiment, the doctors have no clue what to do with her. she randomly wanders into treatment centers and the ER of the local hospital, gets more meds, and leaves.

she hates being around crowded human places too long… though there are others with animal parts none of them are like her. she is afraid of guns and the violence all too prevalent on the streets, and so she spends the majority of her time hiding in the sewers. she is friendly though, if one would happen to find her lurking around. she asks too many questions and is always finding some sort of wonder about her surroundings.

Create a Character Challenge : Torch

she was only a child when she was stolen from her home. her memories are faded, broken things. she cannot even tell you what her real name was, or what her home looked like… she cannot remember the faces of her parents…

the cy-doc who stole her, used her for horrible experimentation. mental and physical torture. she endured years of this, wishing daily for it all to end, for him to finally just decide to terminate his project.


instead, torch found freedom when her anger got the best of her, the cy-doc and his torture chamber lab went up in a blaze of broken metal and charred flesh. she had blown it up with her mind… what ever he had done to her he had given her this power,  maybe it was by accident, or maybe his madness had gotten the best of him.


after breaking free and coming to terms with her forced augmentation, torch, who named herself after what she had done to her captor’s lab, became part of the resistance. she became a one woman demolition crew, seeking out coalition bases, and destroying everything she can.  she is wanted in several states, and her bounty would fetch you a pretty hefty load of credits.


torch’s hatred of robotics, and augmenters runs deep. as part of his disgusting mutilations, the cy-doc had affixed metal wings to her bones and muscles, and by augmenting her dna, he was able to make it so that these cruel wings could extend and retract from  her flesh, causing pain to her upon extension, but then the skin would heal again. she rarely ever brings out her wings, except when she is in great danger and has no other option. the wings sported diamond sharp razors which could slice anyone who got in the way, but she could never use them to fly, only glide if necessary.

torch was my rp character for a lengthy RIFTS campaign. a very fun post-apoc style table top rpg game. now she sometimes randomly appears in the insilico sims. she is my bad ass, and my protector against robots.  i am afraid of robots in real life, have been since i was a little kid, so this character is in a way, a way of coping with that fear. she blows them up for me :p