what did you get for xmas?

since i’ve been pretty much gone since all this real life stuff happened, i decided yesterday to get on briefly and check out all the amazing gifts my friends left me for xmas. i had a lot of fun smiling and opening presents. thanks to all of you who sent stuff it really lifted my spirits.

so now i present to you, the haul:

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from my wonderful and adorable sl daughter i received this awesome bracelet which tells the world that i am the “best mommy” this gift actually made me cry. it was so sweet of her.

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caesey also gave me a set of bat jewelry, this is the necklace from it. also wearing a candy cane made by rai blaylock, one of my newer plurk friends.

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from my friend jasmine, i received this outfit from sn@tch… while i do love sn@tch, this outfit is very… um… not me lol

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a plurk friend, quaintly, dropped this cupcake on me 😀 its really cute and has several poses, and will most likely serve as a throne for my daughter as she is the cupcake princess *nods*

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ryker sent me things to stick in my mouth 😀 some really cute cookies, this is just one of them.

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fenni got me this adorable mouse for my shoulder. i collect rodents in sl, i have a huge folder full of them, but this one is my fave at the moment.

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foe sent me this weird ornament shaped lounge thing.

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i tried to make a collage of all this stuff that rai blaylok sent me. you’ll probably have to click on that one to get the larger version.

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autumn sent out these really awesome friendship bracelets. i love it! it reminds me of when i was a kid.

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danni, one of the girls that live on the island lucas and i live on, gave me a box with a white and a black version of this corset piercing! she is so sweet and she even gave presents to the kids 😀 she also gave me a necklace but i haven’t put photos in it yet so i didn’t take a picture lol

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these last two gifts are from the wonderful emerald wynn. i am so glad that i’ve met her, she is so sweet and i really admire her blogging style. she sent me a monkey.. and some sort of odd cat thing that i can lay on. that monkey has a worried look on his face >_>

so that’s my haul! i know you are saying OMG WHY DIDN’T LUCAS BUY YOU A GIFT THAT BASTARD. but no that’s my fault because he’s supposed to take me shopping for one but i can’t think of anything i want lol so i will buckle down and figure out something i want him to buy soon and then dedicated a whole blog to it *nods*

so anyway thank you people in second life who brighten my day. i have no idea how to repay you but thank you all the same.

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just so you all know

i figure i should write here because i’ve been quite absent for a while, pretty quiet both inworld and out.

in late october my dad fell ill again, his pacemaker fired a bunch of times and he was stuck in the hospital for about 13 days. he came home in november and was significantly weakened from all that time in the hospital. near thanksgiving my mother had a small stroke and was in the hospital for a few days as well. she is mostly ok, her speech is slurred and she has some right side weakness but we are told that it will go away in time. then my father became very ill and a couple weeks ago we put him back in the hospital to take care of some matters. we were told he would not make it. he requested to come home, to be with his family.

yesterday afternoon my father died in his bed, while i slept (i had stayed up all night like an idiot) and my mother rested in her bedroom. he went peacefully and without pain. i’m not sure how much i will be in sl. i have been wandering in randomly because its a good place to escape from crap when you don’t have the ability to run away in real life.

long term i know i will still be around, and i thank all of my sl friends who have been here for me during this awful time. its amazing how much kindness you can receive from people who don’t even know you in person. i think it really shows just how connected we all are as human beings. my dad hated second life and he thought i was ruining my life with it, but i think he would be happy to know just how many people are there looking out for me and worrying over me right now.

so anyway, that’s what’s going on with me…

omg shadows?!?!

omg shadows?!?!

Originally uploaded by N I M I L [is] loved!
*EDIT* the shadows left as soon as i disabled them 😦 now when i attempt to enable them again i get blackscreen.. bleh…

so today i was reenabling boob physics on emerald since i dl’ed the new optimized version of the client when they had an update, and just for the hell of it i clicked the “enable shadow rendering” box just to see if it would work this time.. shadows have been very hit and miss for me.. i got them to work once before but only in one room of the house and after i crashed they would not return. but this time i crossed my fingers and checked the box, hit apply.. got a little stall and then BAM shadows..

there are a few problems, some noticable from the screenshot. the most annoying being the fact that i cannot take a photo of the shadows using sl’s snapshot button.. i can only photograph them by killing my ui and huds and using an external image capture program.

the second problem which is glaringly obvious is the fact that my anti aliasing has gone insane and killed its self.. i have weird jaggy edges and white outlines around things definitely not what it looks like without shadows on.

other problems, my fps is taking a hit but sadly enough 3-5fps used to be my normal fps when i had my old videocard.. so i’m not really dying from it.

oh and my eyeballs are glowing like michael jackson in the thriller video.

still pretty to see light and shadow streaming from the huge windows of my enclosed balcony porch thing…