in your memory

this is a post that i was dreading to write because i am not very good at dealing with death stuff.

2 years ago on this day, i lost a very important person in my life. i knew her as minx, and as fauna, but her real name was tanya

i woke up that afternoon with the intention to completely avoid second life, as i just tend to get to breaking point around december… but i recieved an email saying that i needed to log in immediately, that something bad had happened…

minx… tanya… had died of a heart attack that morning, just hours after having a long conversation with arahan… we were all crushed, in shock, unable to really comprehend what had happened. she was so young! only in her early 30’s.. and such a wonderful person…

to me minx was like a mother figure. she was always kind and gentle towards me and never had an ill word to say. she helped me deal with crap i was going though and never turned her back on me when i did my usual basket case bullshit that always ends up losing me more friends than i can count. she was always there and suddenly she was gone…

i regretted avoiding second life, i regretted not getting to spend more time with her, getting to know her better, i felt like such a horrible person, and a horrible friend, and i still do, to this day, regret that i only knew her for that short time.

my last memories of her are happy ones. i’d gone to her and her partner jorus’ christmas party days earlier, she even gave me the sweetest gift. a snow globe that i still put out every year as soon as december arrives.

i met minx earlier that year though her partner lupus (later known as jorus), who had been a friend from the angry ant. when the angry ant closed, a bunch of us found a new hang out in minx’s club “the minx den” and i had my first second life job. it was though her that i met arahan, who i still concider one of my best friends.

2 years have passed since she was laid to rest and i still feel a part of me is missing from her absence. it also reminds me glaringly, to cherish those who are still a part of my life. i am horrible at doing that sort of thing, and i apologize to those who have to deal with me on a day to day basis.

i don’t think i will ever find another person like minx. she was one of a kind. the world is less without her here.

today i went to her memorial site, i left a copy of the freeview tv she gave me when the minx den closed, full of photos from when we were all together. i miss that time and place in my life… i miss that family… i miss you minx…



One thought on “in your memory

  1. :O

    It is always sad to loose somebody we truly liked and had come close with.
    In our hearts, we carry them forever, as many people would say… and that’s true, sure, but sometimes the heart yearns for “a moment” again…

    gives you (cozy)

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